Merch Writes: An attempt at defining myself

An attempt at defining myself

8 Comments

Art by Pascal Campion

As you grow older, it seems like it gets harder to introduce or talk about yourself. Sometimes it's awkward and for most times it's just that you don't know anymore. As kids you could say something like "I am 8 years old and I love the colour purple" and that would be it. But once you grow up , it suddenly seems like you just don't know anymore. Every time someone asks me to talk about myself, my mind turns completely blank and that slowly translates into a mini existential crisis minutes later. But, I guess along the way of constantly having these "moments" and just really trying to figure things out, I've come to realize that defining yourself really just comes hard cause there are infinite ways one can really be defined.

I could tell you that I get high on chai and that penguins, books and writing is where I find happiness.I can tell you that I'm an Indian who was born and brought up in Saudi Arabia and has lived there on and off for almost 14 years but, both Pune and Jeddah are equally home to me. (I'm actually just saying this so people stop confusing me for an Arab, you know) . I could tell you that I'm a media student, studying advertising but still have no clue whether I really want to pursue it as a main career or not. I could tell you that I'm what they call an INFJ personality type (or an introvert in simple words but it's more than just that, really) and that even though I come across as shy and soft spoken, I'm actually pretty talkative and could shake it off to bollywood with you all night . I could tell you about how I am perpetually confused in life and how Cecelia Ahern and Elif Shafak happen to be my two most favourite authors. I can write and tell you so much and that still wouldn't be all of me, cause whether it's growing up or just really getting into this whole "Marketing" and "Consumer Insights" thing that has made me realize that we're all made up of such complex, collective fragments. Some that are as simple as colours and some that are as complex as memories and inspirations.

We're an amalgamation of all the things we see around us every day and yet never appreciate; from the people we deal with to all the things we escape to. We're made of the songs we listen to and all the ones we love to dance to. We're all the little things we tweet about and all the tweets we favourite. We're all the places we've been to and all the books we've ever read. We're all the quotes we try to quote and put on our walls and we're all the screenshots we secretly take. We're made up of all the movies we watch and all the unnoticed glances we make at those large billboards, newspaper ads and random images over the internet. We're all the tumblr posts we reblog and all the YouTube videos and vines we laugh at. We're all the drafts we didn't publish and all the conversations we have and more so the conversations we save and cherish for times to come. We're made of all our insecurities and we're made of all the outfits we try and mix-match everyday. We're made of all our pop culture references and all our daily morning rituals. We're made up of the conversations we have at chai and more so the conversations we have within. We're made up of all those thoughts that only make a visit during train journeys and all those words that never come up at the right time. We're made up of our regrets, both big and small and all those confessions that we've ever made. We're a reflection of all the art we try to make and all the words we seemingly weave. We're a reel of all our favourite shows and the pages of all our favorite books. We're made of all the people we look up to, the celebrities we obsess over and all the people we've ever interacted with. We're made of so many different complexities and yet it becomes so hard to really just tell people who we are and even harder to figure it all out within and yet it could all be so simple.

8 comments:

Inseyn said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; October 23, 2015 at 3:06 PM
Inseyn said...: Oh hello intro chahiye. Ramayan nahi ~; October 23, 2015 at 3:07 PM
Huda Merchant said...: Ek par ek muft.
No one asked you to read okay .-.; October 23, 2015 at 3:51 PM
Huda Merchant said...: Didn't you read the part that says I'm talkative? ;); October 23, 2015 at 3:52 PM
Inseyn said...: I stopped reading at chai. Oooo i see you've been tested, INFJ. Now, im wondering what we are not. Were probably oxygen too coz technically its always inside us.; October 24, 2015 at 2:52 AM
Huda Merchant said...: Lol of course you did.
Yeah I was tested in my psychology class last semester. Lol but no I just linked it to that website cause it's supposed to be most authentic and cause not everyone knows what it means.; October 24, 2015 at 6:48 AM
Anonymous said...: Huda, I've read your writings and they are wonderful! The reason that I liked them more is because I'ma bit similar to you in terms of introvert-ness, Cecelia Ahern and talkativeness. Keep going :D; January 20, 2016 at 1:13 PM
Huda Merchant said...: Yay, I'm glad you can connect. Thank you :)
Who is this, though?; May 5, 2016 at 10:49 AM

Merch Writes

An attempt at defining myself

8 comments:

Merch Writes

FOLLOWERS/READERS

About Me

Follow me on Twitter